It’s way beyond time to kick this thing off!

Starting a podcast has been on my heart for 4+ years. In the Spring of 2018 I decided to shoot for a big goal. It wasn’t the podcast, but it lead me to it. I realized it was time for me to level up. Something in me just clicked and I went to work with massive action. I felt something in me shifting. As I was connecting and talking to more and more women I realized how many were so stuck on the fear of the opinion of others. And I really understood the feeling. I was there once also. But I found freedom — and such a better life– on the other side of that fear. I had spent the previous 5 years learning about a mindset shift and retraining my brain. It brought me to the space I was in to change my life and gave me the strength to follow through to see it to fruition. I wanted to share it!

What’s Strong Willed all about? Click to play!

And then, boom! Here we are in 2022 and I’m launching said pod. HAHAHA. So obviously there was a lot of analysis paralysis. That space where you want something, it feels impossible, you then try to convince yourself you actually don’t want it, or you convince yourself that “logical” reasons it’s actually not for you. I was there. For a long time.

I was working really hard in that Summer/Fall of 2018 and I let my dream sit on a vision board. Pods weren’t as popular then and a friend started one. I decided I should wait. It’s absolutely ridiculous now that everyone has one that I thought I shouldn’t start a pod just because someone I knew was starting one. Oh my gosh. What a reminder to take my own advice, listen to what’s on your heart, and ignore the, “What will people think,” voice in your head! This is something I’m actively working on even today.

An intro to Strong Willed! Episode One

Okay, so I believe in daily prayer, meditation, and journaling. Let me tell you that just about daily for years I have felt the calling through these to share my story. I started a book in 2019. Then a second. Then a third in 2020. None of them are finished right now. Do you see the pattern? I would struggle with organizing my ideas, finding the time, pausing because of life, a shift in energy, and coming back to it. It was sucking my joy. What was supposed to be my path and purpose and hopefully a passion project just wasn’t.

And I kept coming back to, “Well, duh. You are a talker. You are supposed to do a podcast.”

But, I didn’t know anything about making a podcast. I learned how to write in school. Pen and paper. Computer. Whatever. Easy. In fact I’ll crank out this blog in no time at all… while it took me years to make 3 pod episodes and get them live. I realized I was doing what I coach women not to do. I was looking at what I wanted and because it was new, there would be a learning curve, the beginning would be hard, it would probably be messy…. I wasn’t starting. Or I was half starting, starting-ish, kind of taking steps, and then stopping. So it was time to take my own advice and go for it.

2021 taught me a lot of things. It reminded me it’s okay to rest, but that’s not quitting. And rest doesn’t mean walk back to the starting line and start again. Nor does it mean setting it down, going home, and after a season come back to see if it’s still there for you. It probably won’t be. It’s not falling down a mountain you have been climbing. Rest where you are and taking care of you is so important. It means hold on to it but maybe sitting down for a bit. It means walking the path you may have been sprinting. It means finding a space with a view and taking in the air between the climbs. It also taught me that dreams are worth it. Following through on your promises to yourself is so worth it. So after rest, a lot of energetic flow, and finding my alignment in 2021 I stepped into 2022 with a different path.

“We can’t become what we need to be by remaining what we are.” -Oprah Winfrey

“The Year of Doing Hard Things,’ is what I claimed it. A year of accepting things that come to me even if I don’t want to do them because they seem too hard. I’ve read almost every book that’s been suggested to me. I’m currently finishing another one and have two on the list right now. They have all been exactly what I needed. Amazing how that happens, right? One that really resonated with me was “The Surrender Experiment” by Michael Singer. It tells the story of his life much like what I decided to do. He went with the flow of life, took on the things that were presented to him, and lead an incredible journey. Now, I am nowhere near on the journey he is on nor near as enlightened, but what a great reminder to come across that book as I chose this path this year.

A look into my mindset journey and tips I have for you on Episode TWO

I also decided not to force things. This is something I have been on a journey with for awhile; the ‘Let It Go and Let It Flow’ idea. But, I recommitted to being more conscious about it. What’s meant for me will flow to me as I flow through what is presented to me. I don’t revisit things that don’t revisit me and I embrace those that do. This doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries. Quite the opposite. When some things revisit it may be to remind you exactly why you are now on a different path.

And this podcast…. it just kept coming to me. It kept being presented to me in so many ways. I told myself in January I would have it live by the end of March. I asked some friends if they would be interested in cohosting with me but that went nowhere. I asked my husband for help and we toyed with the idea of cohosting, but he never helped me with the technical side of things that he is so good at and I’m awful with. I didn’t want to keep bothering him about it as he was busy with school (as a teacher) and baseball (as a coach). I let March come and go. I realized I was self-sabotaging and coming up with excuses to put it off. I’m such a good self-sabotager. Anyone relate? I was almost grateful things were falling through. But, that’s the calling of the comfort zone. Not growth.

So, I started reading about it myself. I randomly followed a local female-owned business on social (Women supporting women… can I get an Amen?!). I didn’t know the owners at all, I just liked the vibe. They reached out to ME and asked what they can provide ((what an AMAZING tactic, right?!)). I mentioned I found them randomly and saw they had a pod; something I’m working on. She sent me multiple shows on the subject!

An incredible soul I randomly met and connected with in the Fall reached out to me to reconnect. She is a podcast host. We met and masterminded about something completely different, at the end of the call I mentioned my podcast and she shot out so much information to me. Again…. it was presented to me. It was time to listen. I started and ran into a lot of tech issues and used it as my excuse to pause again. She reached out to me again and mentioned it. And guided me through it.

I was struggling with finishing episodes and one day I decided I would drive to the beach for a high vibe place to work. As I’m on my way a friend opened up in convo about a new podcast idea she’s pursuing. As I’m on this spur of the moment drive to the beach and hadn’t told a soul why. So…. am I not being told to do this?

The proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back was when I created a title I LOVED in April. Got it all set and planned to actually launch on May 10th. That was the due date of the baby I lost to miscarriage… years ago… but when I saw the date on the calendar it seemed to align. That miscarriage was turning point in my mindset and life shift (that I spoke about on Episode Two).

But, life got hard and I never launched; again. May and June were filled with birthdays for my family, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, kids’ sports, graduations, wrapping up the school year, field trips, and a busy season in running my own business. When I told myself I WOULD LAUNCH the beginning of July….. the podcast name was taken. My heart sank. I had recorded all these episodes referencing the title. If you’ve listened; can you guess what I was going to call it? After a lot of research, many ideas that had pods named that already, some thought to just say screw it and call it what I planned, I finally landed on something. The plan was to launch the day before I left on a big work trip. And I got nervous and didn’t. While I was on that trip the term, “Strong Willed,” came up multiple times. I kept hearing it. Then I remembered how after I miscarried I had a dream about a baby I had named Will. We were going to name Sloan has she have been a boy. It was time to just effing launch, Autum.

These are just some of so many examples. And life is like that. I am launching the pod with 3 episodes. The DNA story in Episode Three touches on that a lot, but looking back I realize there is a lot of that in life. I used to push off the approaching ideas out of fear. Then I turned to my good old excuse of, “I don’t have time.” It’s a safe way of staying in my comfort zone and also not facing fears. But, it was leaving me standing in stagnation. If you don’t have the time for the life you want you will be stuck living in the murky, dirty, stagnated waters of the life you arrived at so long ago and never moved through.

I met with a medium once who told me I needed to use my voice. She started speaking about my throat chakra almost immediately. Another time I did a small guidance video and having no clue at all what I was thinking about she told me my soul has moved on and is done with the space I am in. I need to follow. I have felt that painful pull for so long. So, now I am acting on it.

As I launched my podcast today I know I have so much to learn. I’m doing it on my own. But, I want to be the example of tapping into that strong will, not taking no for an answer, doing the hard things to grow, not conforming to rules, giving up on playing it safe when it doesn’t serve you, and breaking free of the life you were not made to live to follow your dreams.

Messy action is action. But analysis paralysis keeps us stuck. Doing it scared and correcting form as you go is still doing it. But staying stuck in dreaming and wishing will never change your outcome.