Talking to Your Kids About Santa

It’s that time of year.  The time the  age old question comes up…. Is Santa real?

The answer in our house is OF COURSE. Santa is very real. I am 44 years old and I know Santa is real. And we have had this discussion with 2 of our 3 children who know Santa is very real now after having this. question.

As a parent I know  there are many ways to handle this.  I know  some people have strong feelings on this and some just don’t.  I am the kind of parent that thinks along the lines that as long as your kids are safe, healthy, loved, and thriving…. You do you.

So, as I share our family’s tradition on this question; I would like to say- as always- this is for who it’s for.  If you like it; it’s for you.  If it doesn’t resonate then it’s not for you.  Life is pretty dang simple if that’s how we look at things (and that would stop a lot of social media comment battles, right? haha).

I remember my own experience with this.  I was in late elementary school.  I don’t remember the exact year, but I remember where I was living at the time and who I was friends with.  My neighbor came to me and told me Santa wasn’t real and her dad told her.  She was two grades below me in school so I  acted like I totally knew that.  But, in all honesty hadn’t even considered it before that. Kids are so wonderful in sharing with each other like that, right? And that’s how the question often arises.

I  went home and asked my mom.  She asked why I asked.  I told her. She sat me down and told me how real Santa was.  She shared with me something that stung, but also felt great. 

Throughout my life I have continued to love all the magic of all the holidays. I knew teaching the kids about Santa would bring so much magic and joy into their lives. And as I had children I knew someday I would also tell them all about how real Santa is as my mom had told me.

But, we added in a tradition to it that I do hope my kids and their kids will continue to pass on.

As I write this I have a 16 year old, a 12 year old, and an 8 year old.  We had this conversation with the older two both when they were in 5th grade just after Thanksgiving.  We hope we have that long with the last one but she’s in 3rd  grade and already seems to question.  I’d like to keep the magic going as long as possible.  I used to be a middle school teacher  and my husband still is so we know that environment well and felt it best to tell them before they started there.

To simplify a bit; here’s a step by step of what we do the day they learn about Santa:

  1.  I have them get ready to go shopping with me.
  2. We go to a store and I ask them to pick out a warm sleeping bag.  When they ask what for I just  tell them there are people out there who really need warm sleeping bags and we are going to get one for them for Christmas.  I have them search for one they themselves think is great and warm. They usually pick a color they like.
  3. Then we go pick out a Christmas card.  I let them pick out whatever one they would like to give with the sleeping bag.  The day Jack did this it was really rainy so we also picked out a tarp.
  4. We also pick out a big bow of their choosing.
  5. Then we check out and go to the car to fill out the card.  I explain to them they don’t have to sign the card with their name, but write a nice Christmas message in it.
  6. With Lucy (now 16) I grabbed some cash out and put it in the card. With Jack (now 12) I decided to do a warm meal. I asked him what warm meal someone would like and he choose a big burger and fries.  
  7. Then I asked the kids where they think an unhoused person who could use these items would quickly find them if we set them out. Each kiddo picked their spot.
  8. I had them set out the sleeping bag, tarp, and food and put the card on top with the bow showing.
  9. Then we walk back to our car and pull away into a nearby spot where we can see the items.
  10. This is when we talk about Santa:

We talked about how real Santa is. How that spirit of giving selflessly is what Santa embodies and that magic around Jesus’ birthday is what Santa is.

We discuss how the Santa they know– the man with the beard and the red suit– is just a person who helps kids to understand until they are old enough to really understand. But, Santa is absolutely real.

We watched the people find their items and be filled with joy. We talked about how they will never know it was from us but we made their lives better and brought happiness to them. How selfless love, giving, and sharing is what Christmas is about and what Santa is about.

My daughter cried a bit. The day I took her to get the sleeping bag we had seen Santa walking through the store and she had just said hi to him! But, look at this picture we got. Look at the way the sun shined down on her. She instantly decided it was magic. Then someone pointed out how the light hit her ear and hair and made it look like an elf ear!!!

My son was excited thinking HE gets to be Santa and give selflessly and in secret. He was super proud and filled with joy when as we were talking two people approached his gift and their excitement was shared. He saw them receive and they’ll never know it’s from him. That’s Santa. That’s Christmas magic. ❤️

That’s what Santa is to us and that’s how we tell our kiddos. I just want to share in case this helps any other parents. I was told with these words and it helped me understand so much as a kid so I created this tradition in our family to go with it.

I hope this helps others out there. Merry Christmas!

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